Things That Go Bump

Childparenting

Well, my son seems to have entered a new stage; he is afraid.  Of everything.   And me, being a concerned parent, have been racking my brains for a way to deal with this, and eventually Googled it.  Thank goodness for Google - I'd be lost without it!

Anyway, I am not sure if his father being away from home for a week is what started it off, or him having started a new creche the week before that.   Maybe a combination of both.  It started off small - he slept in the bed next to me while his dad was away, but he wanted me to come to bed the same time as he went.  Then he wanted me to go with him to the toilet and stand outside the door.  Then he didn't want to go into his room on his own.  And eventually he was literally walking around behind me, just about holding onto my clothes.   Now, even with his father back home, he won't go to the toilet on his own even while  the sun is still shining.

By now I was VERY concerned.

Some research on Google highlighted the fact that this appears to be normal - though in boys it can even start at the age of 9.  In girls it was more common around the six year mark.

It's crucial to approach this in the right way though.   Stressed over and over in the articles I read was the fact that this fear is very real to the child, and should not be brushed off by the parent.   Things like nightlights, staying with the child until he or she is asleep, etc was suggested.   Therapy was highly recommended in the more extreme cases, as well as parent child councelling. 

Now I don't know about you, and I feel almost guilty for admitting this outloud, but I don't have the financial resources at this point, or the ability to take time off work to take my son to councelling.

What I am trying to do is to understand him better and have conversations with him to try to draw out his fears.   I also try to send him off to bed with 'happy' thoughts in his head about the little mice that go food hunting in the dark, and the dogs that are on guard and the cat that is out playing with the neighbours cats while we humans are sleeping.  This seems to be working well.   

I found a wonderful website that I am going to share with you, where you can read up about your child's age and what is generally the developmental stages within this age, as well as suggestions on discipline, etc.  I found it infinitely useful and also put my mind at ease about some issues that I found were just plain normal for his age.

And so we learn, step by step.  The hardest job on Earth - and there's no Instruction Manual!