This Weeks Top of the Celebrity Hit List

And this weeks' honor goes to my all time favourite, worldwide worshipped, self worshipper...(drum roll)....Michael Schumacher.

I just KNOW my popularity just plunged!  I felt the ground move beneath my typist's chair.


The world supports a winner.  Its a simple as that.  It's like that old saying,

"Smile and the world smiles with you, fart and you stand alone".

So it is with winners.  

First off the bat, let me say that yes, Schumi is a 7 time F1 World Champion, yes, he holds the record for 5 consecutive titles, 91 race victories, 7 consecutive wins, 154 x top 3 podium finishes, 19 consecutive podium finishes, 190 point finishes, 68 pole positions, 115 front row starts, 76 fastest laps, 1,369 championship oints, 13 wins per season (72%), 10 fastest laps in a season, 17 podium finishes in a season, etc, etc, etc.

Still, I can't help but wonder why this obviously talented driver felt the need to constantly press the boundries of what is acceptable and not acceptable within the FIA standards.   Together with Ferrari, Schumi was involved in more scandals than any other driver in Formula 1 history. 

And yes, they call him "Regenkönig" (Rain King) and "Regenmeister" (Rain Master).  Also referred to as the Red Baron in Germany.   And I agree, he deserves it.  There never has been a driver to drive in the rain like Schumi did. 

BUT STILL...the way he conducted his career, the lows he and his team stooped to at times, the lack of sportsmanship and integrity of some of his actions, never put him at the top of my list.   Of course, I am somewhat biased considering I was a Jacques Villeneuve fan back in 1997 and well....we know how THAT ended.  Of course, I am going to TELL you how that ended incase you don't know. 

Now that I've made mention of all Schumi's titles and acheivements (however briefly), I now feel free to go into detail about all the unethical and devious tricks Schumi has gotten up to during his career - IN DETAIL.   If you dont' like it, remember my last Celebrity Hit List post and 'Fuckhoff' now while you still have the chance - you're not being paid to read this post. 

Schumacher won his first Championship in 1994 - coincidentally the same year Senna died.   Personally I don't think he stood a fighting chance with 'The Fastest Man Alive' still on the track.  Still, with Senna out of the way, the track was open for Schumi - well, exept for Damon Hill.  With Hill only one point behind Schumi going into the final race of the season, it was either man's Championship.   Accidentally, of course, when Schumi left the track and then veered back on straight into Hill who was pulling ahead, both men were out of the race, and Schumi took his first Championship by one point.  There was alot of controversy regards this, but it was later declared a 'racing accident'. 

1997 we see more of this behaviour repeated when Schumi led the Championship by one point again, against Jacques Villeneuve this time.  He was leading the race when his car developed a coolant leak.   As Villeneuve made to pass Schumacher,  our Red Baron tried to take him out - there's no soft soaping it, and ended up taking himself out while Villeneuve went on to score 4 points and win the Championship.  Schumacher then went on to become the first and only F1 driver thus far to be disqualified from a Championship. 

In 1998 our Schumi became a bit paranoid and twice accused fellow drivers of trying to KILL him.

First was Damon Hill who he accused of weaving dangerously as they fought for position.  He later said, "If you want to kill me, find some other way", a statement that did not go down too well amongst fellow drivers.

Later in 1998, he accused David Coulthard of trying to kill him when Coulthard slowed down infront of him in the rain due to bad visibility.  

Who could forget the 2002 Austrian Grandprix, where Barrichello, who had dominated the entire weekend, had to pull over for Schumi to pass in the last half of the final lap of the race, outraging fans world wide.   These type of team orders undermined the sport and damanged it's credibility.  Later team orders that inteferred with the race result were completely banned.

I can go on to mention Michael Schumacher blocking the track with his car to force a restart, passing a car under caution, winning a race in the pit lane, blocking the pit lane, etc, etc.  the list goes on and on.  

What a driver.  What a chancer.  But oh, WHAT a driver.  

I admit, here, publically for the first time that I was probably more crushed than most when it was announced that Schumi was retiring.    I did so love to hate Michael Schumacher The Air Puncher.  

Top Of This Week's Celebrity HitList

THE HOFF - David Hasseloff

Back in the 1980's when Night Rider was still a hit, David Hasseloff was cool - to my 9 - 10 year old mind.  Young and good looking, he drove an awesome car and could carry it off.  BACK THEN.
Few people may know that Hasseloff started his career staring in a soapie - The Young And The Restless from 1975 - 1982. 
David Hasseloff describes acting in Knight Rider as "a little more difficult than if you had a regularly well-written script" - because -  " I had to talk to a car."  Fuck me Charlie.  Talking to a car is challenging??? 

David goes on to say that Night Rider was much 'bigger' than Baywatch ever was.  Because it was about "saving lives not taking lives".    So...uh...did they let people drown on Baywatch?   Which brings me to an interesting quote I found from him while browsing the Internet:
"I wanted to play around with the format, really tear it to pieces and shake it up. For example, if Mitch saves someone from drowning, and that person then goes out and releases a virus that kills a million people. Imagine the moral implications of that."

Well, I guess that answers THAT question!  Let's first think deeply on the 'moral implications' of saving the individual....
Hasseloff was too busy keeping his toes dry anyway to really get into the water...shots of him running in slow motion down the beach with the wind touseling his curls was much more important than getting wet and saving lives.  Way to non-glamerous for our Hoff. 
So he did do well, reviving it's first season flop and running another 8 seasons that were hugely sucessful.  So I gotta give him credit there.  The fact that he ensured himself a good role with Alexander Paul as co-star, and himself as Leuitenant and later promoted to Captain is obviously the job perks.  Mr King of the Castle.

Suck in that belly, smooth on that baby oil!

Speaking of Kings, David Hasseloff proclaimed himself 'King of the Internet' in a tongue-in-cheek advertisement commercial for Pipex on 2 August 2006.   How's that for blowing your own horn? 

I found some interesting pictures of a drunken David Hasseloff eating a burger while being video taped by his daughter.  This later resulted in him temporarily losing custody of his daughters.   I decided not to display these.  Everyone's entitled to consume a bit much a some stage of their life, but when you're a high profile celebrity, it becomes world news....

Regardless of love or hate, David Hasseloff has been a busy man in the public eye from 1975 to this day.

I admit to a grudging respect of this man as I read of his contributions to charity, and his energy and enthusiasm for his work, the passion with which he followed his dreams. 

Still the memory of him running in slow motion down the beach, floating device in hand, still causes an unpleasant sensation in my stomach.  To my mind, Kelly Slater, staring as Jimmy Slade, was soooo much more 'munch-alicious' back then!!!!

So to my 'top of the Celebrity Hitlist' celeb of the week, I have only one thing left to say, and this extends to anyone who doesn't like my opinion:-