Santa Got a Buddy

Mom gets the tree up - yes, I know, it's a very LITTLE tree, but this is its last year with us...bear with me...the ligths are twinkling on and around the LITTLE tree.  Santa is in his place infront of it all.   He used to be able to sing and dance and even walk, but after two seasons with my son, he did little more than wobble, so now he just stands there.  
But CLEARLY Jacques thought there was something missing and gave Santa a buddy to keep him company.
And I just had to share...

Catwalk Kids

Last week was the school concert.   This year, instead of the traditional Christmas concert, there was a fashion show. 

I've only been priviledged to sit in the audience, heart in throat, once before, when Jacques took part in the Christmas play at his old creche when he was three.

Now, I sat in the front row next to the catwalk, as nervous and excited as can be, waiting for both my kids to make their entrance. 

We'd been told that the babies would merely walk - escorted by the teachers - down the catwalk.  The older classes had themes.

We dressed my daughter in a gorgeous pink party dress with as few accessories as possible - she's beautiful enough without them.

My son was later in the evening and we had no idea what to expect, as he had been tight-lipped the whole month while practicing and rehearsals went on.  We just knew he had to wear 'funky' clothes.  And he asked for his shades just before the show.

Anyway.  A hush fell, the music started and first out, hesitantly and wide-eyed, came my beautiful baby girl.   There is no words to describe the feeling that came over me when I saw her and heard the collective 'Ahhh' in the audience.   When she saw all the people she kind of stopped and then continued walking, taking it all in, and silly Mommy sat with tears streaming - and I'm not the crying kind - so proud to know that the beautiful vision on stage was MY daughter.

Later the evening my son made his grand appearance - if not speedily and extremely shyly, hiding behind his shades.  He came on stage on a little foot scooter, parked it, did the catwalk modelling and a bit of a shimmy dance.   I was proud that he was brave enough to do it.  

The second night Cillisa was ready and paraded the catwalk as if it was just for her.  She stood infront of us - sitting again in the front row - and danced, and then cried when led off the stage. 

Jacques refused to make an appearance the second night, and we assured him that it was ok, because Mommy doesn't do stages either, and neither, in fact, does Dad.

We are still waiting for the professional pictures that were taken, but in the meantime, I'd like to share two that I do have. 

Beach Babe

For ONCE the weather was decent on Saturday.  Usually it's perfect weather during the week when I am stuck in a windowless 'cublicle' on the 8th floor of a stuffy building and then come weekend and my chance to venture into the outdoors, and the wind is galing and it's cool.
I did not hesitate to take advantage of the good weather this time around, and Julie and myself took off with my two kids and headed for the beach.  
It was Cillisa's first real trip to the beach (the previous one not counting, because she was sleeping!).
I am still blown away at her response to this great outdoors.   I remember Jacques crying as his feet hit the sand, not enjoying it at all - though now at the age of 5, of course, it's all changed.
Still, here I watched my 15 month old take off across the sand, her tiny barefeet barely leaving a footprint behind her.   She stopped periodically to pick up something off the sand, even bringing me a small mussel, still in it's shell.   
And then she discovered the water.  I thought she'd be hesitant to go in, it being cold and all.  Wrong again.
She went in on her hands and knees, shrieking and laughing when the water splashed over her, and once, when I couldn't grab her up in time, the water splashed up into her face and over her head.  She thought it was funny!  
It was such a joy to watch her having so much fun.  
And then, there was the surfer / body boarder standing on the sand that she walked past, looked up at and beamed a smile upon.  He looked down at her, returned the smile, and then looked around at me, and grinned again, looking a little puzzled at his own reaction to this tiny creature at his feet!   
And again I marvelled at how little girls, no matter how small, can twist a man around her finger with a dazzling smile.  
I think this is where some women go wrong.  They grow up, become guarded.   Their actions are calculated or at least considered.  Gone are the spontaneous wide smiles, and unselfconscious enjoyment of life. 
I learn alot from my daughter every day.  And I wonder what became of me and how to get some of that...
'innocence' back.

Things That Go Bump

Childparenting

Well, my son seems to have entered a new stage; he is afraid.  Of everything.   And me, being a concerned parent, have been racking my brains for a way to deal with this, and eventually Googled it.  Thank goodness for Google - I'd be lost without it!

Anyway, I am not sure if his father being away from home for a week is what started it off, or him having started a new creche the week before that.   Maybe a combination of both.  It started off small - he slept in the bed next to me while his dad was away, but he wanted me to come to bed the same time as he went.  Then he wanted me to go with him to the toilet and stand outside the door.  Then he didn't want to go into his room on his own.  And eventually he was literally walking around behind me, just about holding onto my clothes.   Now, even with his father back home, he won't go to the toilet on his own even while  the sun is still shining.

By now I was VERY concerned.

Some research on Google highlighted the fact that this appears to be normal - though in boys it can even start at the age of 9.  In girls it was more common around the six year mark.

It's crucial to approach this in the right way though.   Stressed over and over in the articles I read was the fact that this fear is very real to the child, and should not be brushed off by the parent.   Things like nightlights, staying with the child until he or she is asleep, etc was suggested.   Therapy was highly recommended in the more extreme cases, as well as parent child councelling. 

Now I don't know about you, and I feel almost guilty for admitting this outloud, but I don't have the financial resources at this point, or the ability to take time off work to take my son to councelling.

What I am trying to do is to understand him better and have conversations with him to try to draw out his fears.   I also try to send him off to bed with 'happy' thoughts in his head about the little mice that go food hunting in the dark, and the dogs that are on guard and the cat that is out playing with the neighbours cats while we humans are sleeping.  This seems to be working well.   

I found a wonderful website that I am going to share with you, where you can read up about your child's age and what is generally the developmental stages within this age, as well as suggestions on discipline, etc.  I found it infinitely useful and also put my mind at ease about some issues that I found were just plain normal for his age.

And so we learn, step by step.  The hardest job on Earth - and there's no Instruction Manual!

My Son

Well, the real reason for starting this blog was to talk about my children, being a full time working mom, the impact it has on the life of my family and to research and publish my findings on the subject to hopefully make life easier for others out there that might be in a similar position as I am. 

Anyway, so it's now time to start introducing my little family.  First up is my son, Jacques.  Age 5. 

Birthday 31/08/2004.   Hobbies:  PLAYSTATION.   Favourite Cartoon:  Ben10.  Favourite Food:  Nothing.  Chicken and Fries if he must choose.   Sweets:  Anytime.  Normality on a Scale of 1 - 10, 10 being normal:   8.  

I have to say my son is gorgeous.  He has eyes and eyelashes any girl would dream of having.   He is a good kid, a bad eater, a nagger, but extremely intelligent and at present the funniest person I know.

So a few mornings back while rushing to get things done, I was having a good old bitch about the deplorable state of my wardrobe and my lack of pants.   When I failed to get a response from my husband, Jacques decided to settle matter.  "Mommy, why don't you buy some jeans?"  he asks me.   Grumpily I replied that I do not have money for jeans right now.   To which he responded, "Well then why dont' you ask Ouma for monies?"   This brought a smile to my lips, but I told him that Ouma also doesn't have alot of money and can't just buy, buy, buy all the time.  Thinking the subject was closed, I carried on packing in the lunch.  I shouldn't have underestimated Jacques, he is his mother's child.  He got the last word.  With a tone that said it was the end of the conversation he said, "Well then you will just have to wait for Father Christmas then!"  and he left the room.

LOL!!  If only!

It seems 5 is a clever age to be.   The change is almost over night, and they start saying things and reasoning things for themselves that you didn't realise they could do before. 

Last night I decided to spend some time just chatting to Jacques.  I lay next to him in his bed and he asked me to tell a story.   As usual, my usually imaginitive mind deserted me, and so I decided to tell him some stories about his mother's antics when she was 'small' like him.    He listened with a smile and often chipped into ask questions, the main one being "Why?", which is the most common question kids seem to ask, from around 2.5 years until probably somewhere around 95. 

Then he asked if his Daddy was also around, so I explained that Jaco and I didn't know eachother when I was little and only met when we were big.   He wanted to know where and why and so I explained that I met his Daddy at Stockcars and I saw him and I liked him and we became boyfriend and girlfriend.  The more I said, the further he sank under the blankets, a huge smile on his face.  And then I said "And then I KISSED him!" and he shrieked, laughed, covered his head with the blanket and then exclaimed, "Oh GROSS!", to which I burst out laughing.  It was such a spontaneous and unreserved response, and the huge grin on his face showed his enjoyment of the story.  The fact that at five he thinks boys and girls kissing is GROSS, caught me momentarily off guard - but then again, the kids grow up so fast these days!

It really was a brilliant moment for me and even now, as I sit at work getting this post in quickly (yes, mom@work!), I smile at the memory!