Things That Go Bump

Childparenting

Well, my son seems to have entered a new stage; he is afraid.  Of everything.   And me, being a concerned parent, have been racking my brains for a way to deal with this, and eventually Googled it.  Thank goodness for Google - I'd be lost without it!

Anyway, I am not sure if his father being away from home for a week is what started it off, or him having started a new creche the week before that.   Maybe a combination of both.  It started off small - he slept in the bed next to me while his dad was away, but he wanted me to come to bed the same time as he went.  Then he wanted me to go with him to the toilet and stand outside the door.  Then he didn't want to go into his room on his own.  And eventually he was literally walking around behind me, just about holding onto my clothes.   Now, even with his father back home, he won't go to the toilet on his own even while  the sun is still shining.

By now I was VERY concerned.

Some research on Google highlighted the fact that this appears to be normal - though in boys it can even start at the age of 9.  In girls it was more common around the six year mark.

It's crucial to approach this in the right way though.   Stressed over and over in the articles I read was the fact that this fear is very real to the child, and should not be brushed off by the parent.   Things like nightlights, staying with the child until he or she is asleep, etc was suggested.   Therapy was highly recommended in the more extreme cases, as well as parent child councelling. 

Now I don't know about you, and I feel almost guilty for admitting this outloud, but I don't have the financial resources at this point, or the ability to take time off work to take my son to councelling.

What I am trying to do is to understand him better and have conversations with him to try to draw out his fears.   I also try to send him off to bed with 'happy' thoughts in his head about the little mice that go food hunting in the dark, and the dogs that are on guard and the cat that is out playing with the neighbours cats while we humans are sleeping.  This seems to be working well.   

I found a wonderful website that I am going to share with you, where you can read up about your child's age and what is generally the developmental stages within this age, as well as suggestions on discipline, etc.  I found it infinitely useful and also put my mind at ease about some issues that I found were just plain normal for his age.

And so we learn, step by step.  The hardest job on Earth - and there's no Instruction Manual!

30 Stepping Stones

I turned 30 on the 16th of October.   A very significant day that I've been mentally preparing for since I turned 29.   A time of personal reflection, of weighing up what I've achieved compared to what I planned to achieve.  I thought about what dreams and ambitions I could still realistically pursue and which would forever remain just dreams.  Also, which of my original goals had changed and perhaps even fallen away to make way for new ones.

Mentally, it's been a busy year for me.  A year where I silently learnt alot about myself, about what's important, what's not, what I am willing to tolerate and how far I will go to achieve personal happiness.

It was also a year in which I dealt with two very tragic losses, one being the loss of my Mother.   It's a long road, the road to recovery after a tragic loss, and at times I doubted I could pull out of it and ever be happy again.  It's as if the stigma of death attached itself to you and just holds on and you live in a dark and damp place, seeing  the sun, but never feeling it, and eventually the choice is there to continue on like that, or pull yourself out of the deathly grip and take back life.  It sounds alot easier on paper, but it's a long and painfull journey that I don't think ever really ends.  It's something to be worked on each and every day. 

Anyway, enough about my sentiments on turning 30, though be assured there are more coming.

For now though, I'm still getting over the shock!

Meet The Princess

And now it's time to introduce my daughter, Her Royal Highness, Cillisa.  Isn't she beautiful?  Age:  14 months today.  Born 19 August 2008.  Favourite Hobby:  Being cute.  Favourite Food:  Anything.     

As much as I love my son, and as wonderful as it was to have a boy as a first born, don't let anyone ever convince you that a daughter isn't every bit as much of a gift.  We've had such fun with her.  Girls are just special.  So different to boys and so...girlish! 

I think we women are born with the inbuilt ability to wrap men around our fingers with a flutter of an eyelash or a sweet smile. 

I think I've forgotten those tricks though, but watching her, I'm slowly remembering, and then jealously realising that I will never be as good as she is.  She's a natural.  The wide innocent smile, the upturned adoring look when she sees her father, the little outstretched hands - the cute faces she pulls when she's in trouble with Daddy, which is aimed at melting his heart, and works every time!

More than this, I believe Cillisa is touched by Angels.  She was conceived within a month of loosing one of my closest friends in the world.  In the month following this, carrying her was a comfort to me.  During my last month of pregnancy I lost my Mother and Cillisa arrived a few weeks later on my Mother's birthday.  Something they will forever share.   Amazingly, Cillisa broke free of the dominant colouring of my husband's family as well has my own, with the dark hair and dark eyes, and inherited my mother's blonde hair and vivacious personality.  She truly is a gift from Heaven, and her smile lights the path of life for me.

Why Blog

Hello Everyone!

I've been a bit quiet lately - been caught up with work and kids - I'm sure you all know the feeling of just having NO time spare, and if by chance you do - NO energy to do anything with it.

Anyway, I've been doing a bit of research on blogs and so forth, and there's no shortage of tips and information out there of how to make one's blog successful.  But at the end of the day it comes down to content.  

A bit disturbing to me was one specific tip:  Keep your content pertaining to your Blog.  i.e. if you've got a blog about aeroplanes, don't write about cars....

So that got me stressing about my own blog and if writing about my dislike of Michael Schumacher and my like of Enrique Iglesias was potentially harmful to my Blog. After all it’s got nothing to do with kids or being a mom.

Yet – it does. Because it’s me. And I’m a mom. And a wife. And a person. And other mom’s out there will know how hard it is to just be you, when you’re trying to be mommy and wife. ‘You’ comes last. And so if the only place I get to be ‘me’ and express thoughts and feelings pertaining only to ME, is in this Blog then so be it.   I have a personality and opinions outside of just those of a mother and wife.

Why did I start this Blog? Three reasons: Passion for writing, passion for my children, a longing to make people laugh.....

Passion for writing:- Yes, I love to write. My dream is to publish a novel – I’ve even written a few part of the way – but never get the time to finish it. Because I cannot dedicate myself to it. I love writing poetry, I love writing letters. I don’t get the time. To my mind, starting the Blog gave me freedom to write as and when I wanted to – without ‘losing the plot’, or falling behind.

Passion for my children:- well, what mother doesn’t have? And what mother doesn’t warm to her favourite subject; her kids – given half the chance and half an ear. Here, on my Blog, I can boast, praise, and complain to my heart’s content. I can ask questions and hope someone answers, I can share ideas and tips and hope it helps someone. And all this I can do in my favourite way: writing.

Longing to make people laugh:- Oh yes, I love seeing people’s smiles and knowing I put it there. So I might not get to see your smiles when you read my Blog, but I’ll know that if you’re reading it, and following it, that somewhere, at some stage, I will prompt a smile from you.

Truth be told, it doesn’t stop there – I heard about Heather Armstrong and how she eventually made a living from her Blog and was able to stay at home with her children and make it her life. Wouldn’t this be the perfect dream? For me, who has a passion for writing, and for my children, if I could combine the two on this Blog successfully, it would be a dream come true.

So it doesn’t help to write only what is ‘correct’ according to the experts on Blogging out there. I have to stay true to myself too. If it itches – scratch it. If it interests – write about it.

Finally, in closing, I am new to Blogging. So tips and pointers will always be welcome at any time. I tried to write on broad subjects and give you, the reader, a sense of who I am and what I am like before just launching into my life as a working mother. From now though, I am going to be more focussed on content; motherhood, pregnancy, careers, etc.

Beware, I am not averse to taking on anyone that needs it – because as far as I am concerned, here in South Africa there is way too little regard for working mothers, and even pregnant workers. I am joining the fight with guns blazing. I need wingmen – I invite you to join me!

xxEbony