30 Regrets or 30 Blessings?

To add to my earlier post '30 Stepping Stones', I have more sentiments about turning 30.  Indeed, this was a big turning point for me.   A milestone.  I heard the echo of doors closing and another of doors opening, and as I said before, I started to think about the reality of dreams and what could still be, what never would be.

I remember a conversation with my mother when I was just into my teens.  It started with me wanting to take piano lessons.  I asked my mom if she ever had dreams when she was a child and she said she sure did.  I asked her about the ones that hadn't come true - the things she wanted to do that she never did.

Her answer to me that day was that it got to a point where it didn't matter anymore.  I can still picture that moment clearly.  I was leaning against her wardrobe and she was making up her bed, tucking the corners in tightly and smoothing the duvet so that there was no creases.  Only Mom made a bed like that.  I've never known anyone else to do it quite so precisely, except perhaps me. 

Anyway.  

I listened to what she said and found it infinitely sad that a point could come in one's life where dreams 'wouldn't matter' anymore, and vowed there and then, silently to myself that ALL my dreams would come true and that I'd go out and do all the things I wanted - before it was too late.

Somehow, I think, looking back - it was what sparked my headlong flight into life - my continued feeling of urgency - that time was running out and I wasn't getting to everything.

Sometimes I still feel like that, because there are things I want to do in this life...but there are other things that just don't...matter...anymore.

Mom was right.  Learning to play the piano is something I woudn't mind, but it sure isn't priority anymore.  It just doesn't matter as much.  Other things have taken its place.

She was right in so many things, especially when it came to raising children.   How is it that I only now begin to understand how she thought and felt about things...now that I have a son of five and a daughter that I'd sooner die than let something happen to. 

And how I wish she was here to tell this to, that now I finally do understand so much more, and that she wasn't just a good mother, she was a great mother.

Does this insight come with turning 30?  Well, it would explain alot!