This Weeks Top of the Celebrity Hit List

And this weeks' honor goes to my all time favourite, worldwide worshipped, self worshipper...(drum roll)....Michael Schumacher.

I just KNOW my popularity just plunged!  I felt the ground move beneath my typist's chair.


The world supports a winner.  Its a simple as that.  It's like that old saying,

"Smile and the world smiles with you, fart and you stand alone".

So it is with winners.  

First off the bat, let me say that yes, Schumi is a 7 time F1 World Champion, yes, he holds the record for 5 consecutive titles, 91 race victories, 7 consecutive wins, 154 x top 3 podium finishes, 19 consecutive podium finishes, 190 point finishes, 68 pole positions, 115 front row starts, 76 fastest laps, 1,369 championship oints, 13 wins per season (72%), 10 fastest laps in a season, 17 podium finishes in a season, etc, etc, etc.

Still, I can't help but wonder why this obviously talented driver felt the need to constantly press the boundries of what is acceptable and not acceptable within the FIA standards.   Together with Ferrari, Schumi was involved in more scandals than any other driver in Formula 1 history. 

And yes, they call him "Regenkönig" (Rain King) and "Regenmeister" (Rain Master).  Also referred to as the Red Baron in Germany.   And I agree, he deserves it.  There never has been a driver to drive in the rain like Schumi did. 

BUT STILL...the way he conducted his career, the lows he and his team stooped to at times, the lack of sportsmanship and integrity of some of his actions, never put him at the top of my list.   Of course, I am somewhat biased considering I was a Jacques Villeneuve fan back in 1997 and well....we know how THAT ended.  Of course, I am going to TELL you how that ended incase you don't know. 

Now that I've made mention of all Schumi's titles and acheivements (however briefly), I now feel free to go into detail about all the unethical and devious tricks Schumi has gotten up to during his career - IN DETAIL.   If you dont' like it, remember my last Celebrity Hit List post and 'Fuckhoff' now while you still have the chance - you're not being paid to read this post. 

Schumacher won his first Championship in 1994 - coincidentally the same year Senna died.   Personally I don't think he stood a fighting chance with 'The Fastest Man Alive' still on the track.  Still, with Senna out of the way, the track was open for Schumi - well, exept for Damon Hill.  With Hill only one point behind Schumi going into the final race of the season, it was either man's Championship.   Accidentally, of course, when Schumi left the track and then veered back on straight into Hill who was pulling ahead, both men were out of the race, and Schumi took his first Championship by one point.  There was alot of controversy regards this, but it was later declared a 'racing accident'. 

1997 we see more of this behaviour repeated when Schumi led the Championship by one point again, against Jacques Villeneuve this time.  He was leading the race when his car developed a coolant leak.   As Villeneuve made to pass Schumacher,  our Red Baron tried to take him out - there's no soft soaping it, and ended up taking himself out while Villeneuve went on to score 4 points and win the Championship.  Schumacher then went on to become the first and only F1 driver thus far to be disqualified from a Championship. 

In 1998 our Schumi became a bit paranoid and twice accused fellow drivers of trying to KILL him.

First was Damon Hill who he accused of weaving dangerously as they fought for position.  He later said, "If you want to kill me, find some other way", a statement that did not go down too well amongst fellow drivers.

Later in 1998, he accused David Coulthard of trying to kill him when Coulthard slowed down infront of him in the rain due to bad visibility.  

Who could forget the 2002 Austrian Grandprix, where Barrichello, who had dominated the entire weekend, had to pull over for Schumi to pass in the last half of the final lap of the race, outraging fans world wide.   These type of team orders undermined the sport and damanged it's credibility.  Later team orders that inteferred with the race result were completely banned.

I can go on to mention Michael Schumacher blocking the track with his car to force a restart, passing a car under caution, winning a race in the pit lane, blocking the pit lane, etc, etc.  the list goes on and on.  

What a driver.  What a chancer.  But oh, WHAT a driver.  

I admit, here, publically for the first time that I was probably more crushed than most when it was announced that Schumi was retiring.    I did so love to hate Michael Schumacher The Air Puncher.  

Bailamos

Damn, someone pass me a tissue, I just drooled on my keypad.  Yes, it's THAT bad.  Growing up, I was not one for 'idol worship'.  Sure I had some posters on my wall of Kelly Slater.  Indeed I fell inlove with 'Jack' from Titanic, played by Leonardo Dicaprio.   Hmmm, I've always, always liked Tom Cruise - though recently he's gotten too old for me!  And when I was VERY young, I thougth Alec Baldwin was HOT.  

But nothing compares to my adoration of one Enrique Iglesias.   It's probably a good thing that he didn't prefer acting as a career, my DVD player would have burned out by now and I'd be divorced.  As it is, I have almost convinced my husband that he really does in some way resemble something in Enrique.  I changed the subject before I had to be more specific though!

Seriously, what woman can resist those smouldering eyes?  

I'd like to say it's all about the music for me, but seriously, I like Nickleback and Prime Circle too, but I wouldn't be inspired to post them on my blog and Google shirtless pics of the band members.

In October 2007 I attended a concert.  My hubby bought the ticket for me for my birthday and Julie agreed to go with.  Poor girl.  She sat alongside me from 08:00 the morning until 21:00 the evening just to be sure we were RIGHT INFRONT of the Golden Circle.  I wanted an unimpeded view of my favourite 'idol'.  The fact that thousands of screaming, panting, horny bitches jostled, pushed and shoved did not deter us and we clung valiantly to the railing separating us from the stage.   I did not, for one single moment, consider myself on the same level as these poor deprived females.  I was there for the music.   And to see Enrique upclose - purely from an entertainment perspective.   I'd paid for it.  But I did not, I repeat, NOT, behave that way, or fantasize about him in any inappropriate way or in any place or position that included duvets, pillows, silk, etc.   I am after all a married woman.

The fact that he writes most of his own music adds to my admiration of this talented man.  I believe he is deep and soulful and so totally and completely Spanish.  Yum.  I can honestly say that never before have I seen a male artist perform with as much energy and enthusiasm and he does at his concerts.

His music has, for many years, been the alphabet of my life - a song for every ocassion.   When I am happy, sad, thoughtful, energetic, alone...there's a song for it all.   I love listening to the Spanish songs too, because there is nothing to destract me from the pure emotion Enrique puts into his music.  

Despite all this, he is a man, and someone, somewhere is putting up with his shit on a daily basis.   To all accounts and purposes, it's Anna, the beautiful, golden tennis star / model. 

So yes, okay, I'm an 'idol worshipper' even at my age!  But I am not a horny panting bitch and I do not have pictures of him as  my screen saver, desktop or on the back of the toilet door.   I do have his CD in the car, and in the house, and, I believe, the best topless picture of him ever taken, hidden deep within my box of treasures.  I should share it sometime.

In the meantime, make do with what is shared on Google for all those horny bitches out there to pant upon - me excluded, as I am merely admiring a work of art and a talented artist - purely from an entertainment point of view.  Seriously.

Now, where's that DAMN tissue????!!!

Friendly Insight

Well, my best girl buddy just sent me an email - she's obviously been Googling for an answer as to how she fell pregnant.  (Dont' ask, the depths of her mind are safer unexplored!).  She's 17 weeks today (Happy 17

Weeks, Julie!) and her son's name is Dylan.  First baby...can you imagine how excited she is!

Anyway, her extensive Google research dug up the following and I thought it interesting enough to share:

When Can You Get Pregnant?

Because sperm can survive for as long as 5 days, you could potentially fall pregnant from intercourse during the 5 days before you ovulate, as well as for 24 hours after.

  

My Son

Well, the real reason for starting this blog was to talk about my children, being a full time working mom, the impact it has on the life of my family and to research and publish my findings on the subject to hopefully make life easier for others out there that might be in a similar position as I am. 

Anyway, so it's now time to start introducing my little family.  First up is my son, Jacques.  Age 5. 

Birthday 31/08/2004.   Hobbies:  PLAYSTATION.   Favourite Cartoon:  Ben10.  Favourite Food:  Nothing.  Chicken and Fries if he must choose.   Sweets:  Anytime.  Normality on a Scale of 1 - 10, 10 being normal:   8.  

I have to say my son is gorgeous.  He has eyes and eyelashes any girl would dream of having.   He is a good kid, a bad eater, a nagger, but extremely intelligent and at present the funniest person I know.

So a few mornings back while rushing to get things done, I was having a good old bitch about the deplorable state of my wardrobe and my lack of pants.   When I failed to get a response from my husband, Jacques decided to settle matter.  "Mommy, why don't you buy some jeans?"  he asks me.   Grumpily I replied that I do not have money for jeans right now.   To which he responded, "Well then why dont' you ask Ouma for monies?"   This brought a smile to my lips, but I told him that Ouma also doesn't have alot of money and can't just buy, buy, buy all the time.  Thinking the subject was closed, I carried on packing in the lunch.  I shouldn't have underestimated Jacques, he is his mother's child.  He got the last word.  With a tone that said it was the end of the conversation he said, "Well then you will just have to wait for Father Christmas then!"  and he left the room.

LOL!!  If only!

It seems 5 is a clever age to be.   The change is almost over night, and they start saying things and reasoning things for themselves that you didn't realise they could do before. 

Last night I decided to spend some time just chatting to Jacques.  I lay next to him in his bed and he asked me to tell a story.   As usual, my usually imaginitive mind deserted me, and so I decided to tell him some stories about his mother's antics when she was 'small' like him.    He listened with a smile and often chipped into ask questions, the main one being "Why?", which is the most common question kids seem to ask, from around 2.5 years until probably somewhere around 95. 

Then he asked if his Daddy was also around, so I explained that Jaco and I didn't know eachother when I was little and only met when we were big.   He wanted to know where and why and so I explained that I met his Daddy at Stockcars and I saw him and I liked him and we became boyfriend and girlfriend.  The more I said, the further he sank under the blankets, a huge smile on his face.  And then I said "And then I KISSED him!" and he shrieked, laughed, covered his head with the blanket and then exclaimed, "Oh GROSS!", to which I burst out laughing.  It was such a spontaneous and unreserved response, and the huge grin on his face showed his enjoyment of the story.  The fact that at five he thinks boys and girls kissing is GROSS, caught me momentarily off guard - but then again, the kids grow up so fast these days!

It really was a brilliant moment for me and even now, as I sit at work getting this post in quickly (yes, mom@work!), I smile at the memory!

Remember THIS???

On Top of Spaghetti

On top of spaghetti,

All covered with cheese,

I lost my poor meatball,

When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table,

And on to the floor,

And then my poor meatball,

Rolled out of the door.

.

The mush was as tasty

As tasty could be,

And then the next summer,

It grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered,

All covered with moss,

And on it grew meatballs,

And tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti,

All covered with cheese,

Hold on to your meatball,

Whenever you sneeze.

 It rolled in the garden,

And under a bush,

And then my poor meatball,

Was nothing but mush

Interesting Fact

Studies have shown that hair grows slower when you are stressed.  
(I guess that's why mine falls out so much!)

Top Of This Week's Celebrity HitList

THE HOFF - David Hasseloff

Back in the 1980's when Night Rider was still a hit, David Hasseloff was cool - to my 9 - 10 year old mind.  Young and good looking, he drove an awesome car and could carry it off.  BACK THEN.
Few people may know that Hasseloff started his career staring in a soapie - The Young And The Restless from 1975 - 1982. 
David Hasseloff describes acting in Knight Rider as "a little more difficult than if you had a regularly well-written script" - because -  " I had to talk to a car."  Fuck me Charlie.  Talking to a car is challenging??? 

David goes on to say that Night Rider was much 'bigger' than Baywatch ever was.  Because it was about "saving lives not taking lives".    So...uh...did they let people drown on Baywatch?   Which brings me to an interesting quote I found from him while browsing the Internet:
"I wanted to play around with the format, really tear it to pieces and shake it up. For example, if Mitch saves someone from drowning, and that person then goes out and releases a virus that kills a million people. Imagine the moral implications of that."

Well, I guess that answers THAT question!  Let's first think deeply on the 'moral implications' of saving the individual....
Hasseloff was too busy keeping his toes dry anyway to really get into the water...shots of him running in slow motion down the beach with the wind touseling his curls was much more important than getting wet and saving lives.  Way to non-glamerous for our Hoff. 
So he did do well, reviving it's first season flop and running another 8 seasons that were hugely sucessful.  So I gotta give him credit there.  The fact that he ensured himself a good role with Alexander Paul as co-star, and himself as Leuitenant and later promoted to Captain is obviously the job perks.  Mr King of the Castle.

Suck in that belly, smooth on that baby oil!

Speaking of Kings, David Hasseloff proclaimed himself 'King of the Internet' in a tongue-in-cheek advertisement commercial for Pipex on 2 August 2006.   How's that for blowing your own horn? 

I found some interesting pictures of a drunken David Hasseloff eating a burger while being video taped by his daughter.  This later resulted in him temporarily losing custody of his daughters.   I decided not to display these.  Everyone's entitled to consume a bit much a some stage of their life, but when you're a high profile celebrity, it becomes world news....

Regardless of love or hate, David Hasseloff has been a busy man in the public eye from 1975 to this day.

I admit to a grudging respect of this man as I read of his contributions to charity, and his energy and enthusiasm for his work, the passion with which he followed his dreams. 

Still the memory of him running in slow motion down the beach, floating device in hand, still causes an unpleasant sensation in my stomach.  To my mind, Kelly Slater, staring as Jimmy Slade, was soooo much more 'munch-alicious' back then!!!!

So to my 'top of the Celebrity Hitlist' celeb of the week, I have only one thing left to say, and this extends to anyone who doesn't like my opinion:-