Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Under The Couch

Well, I contracted a Cleaning Service to sweep (pun intended) into my house tomorrow and do a modern day kind of 'fairy godmother' to it.  A wave of the magic wand and *tarra* my house will be spick and span and new.
I should feel ashamed that I am currently at home on maternity leave and still recruiting a Cleaning Company.  But I'm not.  I have three children - two which are particularly messy and a husband who is not far behind (hello to toothpaste residue left behind in the basin and shoes left just where they were taken off...need I say more?).
So, with two and a half weeks left to go before it's back to work I decided to treat myself, HAVE my house cleaned, HAVE my dogs washed by a doggie parlour and just sit back and enjoy the results.  Just this once.  I might even be tempted to HAVE food delivered to my house tomorrow night too - just to complete my extravagance.
Seriously though - should I feel ashamed?  The messy house subject is a...sticky...one for me.  I love tidyness.  Didn't grow up that way - my mom would laugh out loud if she could read that.  I was the untidiest teenager EVER, despite all Mom's efforts to reform me!  But as I passed into adulthood, I began to enjoy a tidy surrounding.   Between you and me, I do have my messy corner - or cupboard, or draw, a place where the bits and pieces of my life that don't fit anywhere particular get thrown into until further notice.  Drives my husband nuts. 
So I got to wondering how many women, working or stay at home - actually get to cleaning their WHOLE house, top to bottom regularly.  Especially the moms at home.  Can one visit with a 'white glove' and check surfaces?  I know from experience that being a stay at home mom is even harder work than a career mom.  And I certainly don't get to everything, either way.  It's as if I'm constantly putting out little fires, but never getting to the coals and the ash.  Know what I mean?
However, I still got my pride, and as I contemplated and anticipated the Cleaning Service's arrival tomorrow (sparkling windows - yayy!!!), I uneasily realised that for my pride to stay intact, there was some cleaning I had to do first....Did I really want them to know that the last time the couch was moved and cleaned underneath was...well....the last time they were here, which was.....January - or was it December...and it's now April.  
I was probably harbouring a new species of some kind under that couch by now.  I eyed it in trepidation and then got to work. 
Two kids could do THAT?  Seriously, so THAT'S where the egg flip disappeared to!  What were they doing with it anyway?  Beer bottle cap - one guess who's to blame for THAT.  Pieces of tea sets, little micro cars, a lollipop stick....lots of dust...
Dust got me to thinking about another kind of couch - the couch of our lives.  Most people only see the couch - they either think it's a comfortable couch and sit down and visit, or they don't like what they see and move on to another couch more to their taste.  But never do they look underneath the couch.   I know I need to clean underneath my life couch - it gets crowded with all the stray bits sometimes.   That is why I have two blogs, the one for the couch itself and the one for what's underneath the couch.  The darker side of me.  The one I choose to share, the other I don't.   Even my more serious posts still come from the lighter side of me.  It's my other blog that hosts my deeper, darker thoughts.
I read a wonderful blog post a few days ago and something Kirsten wrote there caught at my heart and I really want to share it here now:-
"For even the unbeautiful truths needs expression, and expression is trust and trust is a cliffdive into the unknown."
Kirsten's blog is called Wanderlust and the post is called 'The sound of a h heart breaking. 
She's right.   It takes a level of trust to express one's emotions and even when you give that trust, you just don't know what someone is going to do with it. 
Perhaps one day I will lift the couch for all to see what lies gathering beneath it, but for now I like it like it is. 





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